Try to Get By

When I woke up this morning, it was about 45 degrees and rainy.  

But now it's 30 degrees and snowing . . . 

. . . so let's just think about summer for a second and try to get by.

Sunshine . . . ahhhhh . . . 

Mack and his bucket of stuff.  

On a milkshake date with Mommy.

I think often about why we don't live at the beach. 

But then I realize that there would be no magic if we lived there.  The beach would become every day and ordinary, and then where would we vacation???

This kid turned 6 over the summer.  S-I-X.  Y'all that's big.

She becoming more independent and more helpful.  More beautiful and more thoughtful.    

She's decided she needs to perform, and Clint and I can't disagree.  She's so young, but I have been anxious to see what interests this kid.  Soccer or softball?  She spends more time cheering for her teammates and singing.  Swimming?  She just wants to splash her teacher.  Ice Skating and dance seem sort of hopeful, but what she really loves to do is pretend, imagine, and create.  I recently took her to see Annie, and she sat so close to the edge of her seat that she fell off a few times.  And we were in the second row, so I'm not sure how much closer she thought she could get.

The very next day a mom told me, "You know, Mimi has a really great voice.  She should do something with it."

What??  Mimi?  I've never really paid attention.  And then another mom said the same thing the next day.  Okay, I get it.  More to come on that when I figure this out . . .

It's exciting to see her strengths emerging.  She's outgoing and helpful.  She concerned about her friends and doesn't discriminate against kids who are a little different.  She has the biggest imagination and takes up the entire room with her personality.  And she can talk friends and grown-ups into just about any crazy scheme of hers.

And then there's school.  Yeeesh.

As soon as first grade began, I knew there would be a struggle.  She can't sit still long enough to write and would prefer to read a book as she thinks it should go -- not how it is written.  While she understands math concepts, numbers over 10 get confusing for her.  She misses a lot of instructions because she's very busy telling a story to a friend, and she just can't stop telling that story for anything in the world.

So after frustrating nights of homework and drilling and really low scores on spelling quizzes, I've finally given in to the fact that my children learn differently.  I don't know what Clint and I did to create these little monkeys who are so amazing and wonderful and absolutely unique.  There is no other Mimi.  And just to prove it she is going to make damn sure that she gets special treatment at school, which by the way, is freaking awesome.  The teachers and reading specialist and principal along with other fancy degree people have been on it.  We moved to this district for Mack having no idea how beneficial it would be for Mimi.  It makes that insane tax bill not seem so awful.

And speaking of Mack -- this guy turned 4.

Four is a fun age, and we have seen amazing changes in him just since this birthday -- more talkative, more social, and my gosh, he's smart.  He is spelling long movie titles from memory and beginning to sound out words.  He doesn't just know that "Toy Story" begins with a "T," he can spell out "Disney Pixar Toy Story 3 on DVD."  Yes, he's the opposite of Mimi.  She has the social skills and he's the academic.  It wouldn't be fair if they were both perfect, would it?

As one friend recently told me, where a child is lacking in skills, he will make up for it tremendously in another way.  No doubt both of mine are making up for it tremendously.

Oh, low they love each other.  I love to catch them sharing toys and playing a computer game together.  Mack will occasionally walk up to Mimi and give her a squeeze and a kiss for absolutely no reason, and the world stops for a few seconds.

And this guy loves me.  I call him my little boyfriend because he loves to hold my hand and snuggle with me.  He likes to make me laugh and smile and even holds doors open for me.  He's a bit possessive but I'm learning to deal with it.

If I had known back when Mimi was a perfect little nine-month-old how challenging this would all be, I think I may have thrown in the towel then.  A couple of nights ago we went to a restaurant for dinner (restaurants are something we don't visit with children much anymore), and I looked over at a nearby table -- a happy mom, a playful dad, and a sweet little 9- or 10-month old baby sitting nicely in his high chair.  He was picking at snacks as the parents took turns giving him attention.  I remember that easy stage with Mimi.

And then I looked back at my table.  Mimi was talking our ears off and Mack was sticking his hands in Clint's water and then ran off towards the kitchen with a plan in his eyes.  After he threw his body to the floor in rebellion, I took a big sip, er, chugged my margarita and yelled back at Clint to box up my dinner.  I was done.

After getting him in the car, Clint and I traded places so I could finish.  As I sat staring at Mimi for a second, I couldn't help but notice that sweet couple still sitting nicely with their little one.  I also noticed that they both kept glancing at us, and I remembered they had done that some while Mack was losing his shiz.  I made eye contact and gave them a smile . . . all while thinking suckers, you think you have it easy now but . . . just . . . you . . . wait . . . 

Because we know even "easy children" aren't always easy.  Both of mine had simple, easy stages, but those never lasted long.  Once I thought I had it all figured out, new challenges emerged.  And I will never, ever judge a parent who I know is trying their best on their children's behavior.  An old lady once asked me if I could control my kids.  And my response was, "No.  Why, can you?"  It's not all nurture -- a lot of it is nature.

 I remember Clint and I sitting next to a family at dinner one night whose children were zoned out on their iPads, and we thought, "How horrible.  We'll never let our children do that."  And I had dinner with a friend once who pretended her daughter wasn't pouring Sweet and Low packets all over the floor.  The friend shrugged her shoulders and said, "Ignore her.  She's being really quiet."

No one's judging over here.  Nope.  We're all just trying to get by.

Anywho, I'm supposed to be packing and gearing up for our first flight with the children since Mack lost his shiz 2 years ago on a flight that was so traumatizing that we canceled our flights home and drove the 16 hours back.  Yep.

So I'll leave some sweetness and quit procrastinating.  I'll take all the tips and prayers and kind thoughts you have for our flight this week.  A straight jacket in a child size 5 would also be appreciated . . . kidding . . . sort of

 At least no messes were being made at this moment . . . I will get by . . .

Because it's about time . . .

I miss my blog.  

(Insert super sad and whiny face here)

I think about writing a new post at least every day or two but then life happens.

It would be a lie to say life is so difficult and busy because the truth is that there is not a time in my life that was more difficult than the first three years of having two children.  If you have two or more children under the age of four, then I don't care how calm and sweet they are -- your life is difficult.  You're in the trenches of parenthood.  

Hang in there.  Eventually they will all be over the age of four, and you can take a deep breath.  

And that's where Clint and I are right now.  Taking a nice, cleansing breath.  Ahh, now that feels good.

Not that we don't still have our challenges because we most certainly do.  Mimi is really sassy and isn't that interested in homework or cleaning up her insane messes or listening to her parents.  Mack still gets overwhelmed in crowded places and tears up everything and prefers to not use a toilet.  But they like to play alone (and often together), and they like to get their own snacks and find their own TV shows.  Oh, and they are both in school all day, which means I have from 9:30-2:15 to do whatever I want.

Whatever means grocery store, laundry, dog walking, bed making, errand running, changing light bulbs, doing more laundry, putting away said laundry, shopping for school clothes, scrubbing floors, washing dishes, and doing all the basic things that every single parent has to do regardless of whether he or she has from 9:30-2:15 with or without kids or a job.  

So I decided to make things more challenging for myself and accomplish all of the above PLUS work a little.  If you're interested in that, check THIS out.  

As far as the blog goes, I'm going to stop thinking I have to catch up on everything we've done since my last decent post and will just sit down and type whenever I have a second to sit down.  Or I may sew instead . . . hmm . . .

So today was nice and lazy and not too chilly outside . . .

I really like these two.  And they really, really like each other.  

And I think that's all I ever really hoped for in life.  I wanted to marry my best buddy, live in a house with a fireplace, and have two kids close in age who really, really like each other.  I've pretty much accomplished everything on my bucket list.  Show's over.

Daddy's girl.  These two are sweet stuff.  She's silly and unorganized and fly-by-seat-of-her-pants just like her mom.  That's why he loves her.  And that's why they push each other's buttons.  I made a clone of myself with blonde hair.  Oops.

Speaking of blonde hair . . . 

My little boyfriend.  He likes everything in its place and can't sit still and likes to stick to Plan A.  Exactly like his dad.  Which I find adorable and is why I am smitten with him. 

Clint and I just had the last fifteen minutes all to ourselves in the living room.  We sat on the couch together.  He was watching football.  I was piddling on the computer.  Other than occasional happy noises the children have been quietly playing and drawing in the kitchen.  

So maybe we walked in on a big mess and some marker on my white counters . . . but I am in love with our beautiful little messes . . .

Kitchen reno is OVER!

I should be writing about our summer, the kids' camps, hanging at the beach, or, wait for it . . . wait for it . . .

BOTH OF MY CHILDREN BEING IN SCHOOL FULL TIME EVERY DAY AND I CAN FINALLY CLEAN AND SEW AND RUN ERRANDS AND BREATHE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

. . . but instead I'm going to type about a crazy big project that we are so very proud of . . .

our AMAZING new kitchen!

Oh, wait.  That's old funky kitchen.  

Not the worst I've ever seen and so grateful for its size and cabinets and functioning appliances.  Let me take that back . . . grateful for the parts that were functioning.  The garbage disposal laughed at me when I tried to turn it on, and the bottoms of some of the cabinets said, "Are you kidding me?" as I gently placed heavy iron skillets on its crumbling old boards.  The main floor of the house did not have central air, so the window on the far right was holding a disgusting old window AC unit that had seen better days.  Shelves were falling in the fridge and lights were saying buh-bye on a daily basis.  The electrical was so old school and weak that lights blinked at us every time the microwave was turned on.  I know it was just flirting, but, y'all, our kitchen was tired.

Here's another angle the day before she was laid to rest.  Don't mind the little dude in the corner working away on reports.  Needs that umbrella in case the kitchen springs a leak.

And another angle so you can see the dining room through the really cool old butler's swinging door.  The previous owners were pros at entertaining and loved to keep the kitchen closed off from their gorgeous dining room.  The Darbys must entertain to a much more casual crowd (usually kids with popsicles and magic markers), so we have only used the dining room once or twice.  And that was for storing mail and such.

And this was the sad excuse for a mudroom and pantry.  The door on the right was originally a very narrow broom closet, but it was the only space we could use as a pantry.  It held about two boxes of cereal and a few packs of applesauce squeezers.  If you live in a cold weather area, you understand how painful it is to dress your littles in snow bibs and big coats and boots and hats and scarfs and backpacks while they are all on top of you and then they fall and bang their heads on the corner of the pantry and then one opens the door to the garage and you're just so freaking claustrophobic and burning up from your own wool scarf that you want to scream!!!  If you don't, then consider yourself lucky.  This. Space. Sucked.

   

Clint and I knew this kitchen had more to offer, so we searched through Houzz and Pinterest and zillions of copies of Southern Living (because this Mississippi girl wouldn't dare take decorating tips from, say, Midwest Living.  Ew.)  and finally came up with a plan.

But have you ever seen the two of us attempt to put a nail in the wall?  It's painful.  After some interviews and research, we settled on a local contractor named Joh Proeh who helped us make those pencil sketches on the back of a letter from Mimi's school a reality.

Aaaaaaannd,



drumroll please . . .

I promise it's the same space . . .

Hard to believe, right?

Remember the big wall that was between the kitchen and dining, room?  She's gone now, and I love feeling like we can stretch out.  Ahhhhh . . . 

It's wonderful to have family visit, and we can all sit in the dining room and kitchen and still have a conversation.  But chances are we're all talking at the same time and not listening but at least we're all together :).

My favorite little spot of clutter.  Baskets for junk and cookbooks along with some fun books. 

The view my children have when sitting at the island.  Play-doh and markers and Legos and mess stays on that side and Mommy stays on the other.  Amazing.

Oh, how I love that pot filler.  I've only used it a couple of times, but it is just so pretty.

Just a quick note -- we chose man-made counters that look similar to marble because marble in a kitchen is gorgeous but just stupid for my family (so I put the pretty marble tiles on the backsplash instead).  I chose the giant apron sink with no divider because I loathe cleaning a huge serving dish while banging it against that unnecessary divider.  

Mommy's space.  Do not enter.  Unless you are getting your own plate and snack and cleaning up your mess.  Then you're totally welcome (but make it quick, right?).  See the dining room in the back.  Looove how it is open to the kitchen.

I'm in super deep love with my appliances and we didn't spend a fortune on them.  GE refrigerator, stove, and microwave and they have all the features that I had on my insanely long list.  I loved seeing the Abt salesman's face when I listed off everything I needed in an oven and stove.  He turned to Clint and said, "Is she always this high maintenance?"  But, y'all, gas stove with removable griddle and electric oven with warming drawer that is totally like having a second oven?  I can't believe so much fits into such a tiny space.

My perfect little triangle of preparation.

Now you can see the dining area a bit better.  Look at all that natural light.

And remember that stupid excuse for a mudroom?  We fixed her.  And I think little black puppy loves the cool tile floor (that will hide all the funky mud and snow and sand that is tracked in my house).

Looky at all that storage for all of our crap!  And we have a lot of unnecessary crap.  The cute little bench opens up to hide all of our yucky shoes.  There's nothing I love better than a place to throw clutter when guests are coming.  You think I'm clean?  Just don't look in my cabinets . . . 

The new and improved pantry.  She and I are BFFs.  

And she is NOT EVEN FULL.  Plenty of room to hide things!  Woohoo!

Oh, and we had this precious secret garden behind our house that was difficult to access.  We couldn't be happier that we tore out this wall (remember it was three small windows) and added this huge sliding door and patio.  If the kids and doggy are bugging me while I'm drinking my coffee and stalking social media (come on, you do it too), then out the door they go.  Fantastic.

In the end we updated electrical, added central air conditioning to the main floor and basement, tore out a wall and added sliding doors, added a brick patio, tore out the kitchen to the studs, added new wood floors, and removed the wall between the kitchen and the dining room.  WHEW.  Thank God that's over.

All of this took about seven weeks (pretty quick, right?), and we were smart enough to get the heck out of town for the first two weeks of demolition.  I can't emphasize enough that this was not easy -- it was ROUGH on us with the children.  We ate an insane amount of take-out, used a fortune in paper plates (I'm sorry, Earth), and had to wash dishes in a tiny bathroom sink.  There was a lot of dust and a lot of clutter, but once we actually had appliances, running water, and a counter top, I decided that I wasn't going to kill anyone.


If you're about to embark on a kitchen reno, pun-lease feel free to ask me anything -- why I chose the appliances I did, the counters, the lighting, whatever.  Why do the crazy research when you can just ask me?  If I had the time, I might write a small book on this whole process because I learned so much invaluable information.  Oh, wait, the kiddos are in school full-time so maybe I do have the time . . . nah, on to project Sew Until I Go Crazy.  More on that later . . .  

Loooong Winter

I'm ready to get over winter, so I'll get through this post in a hurry and will stop being so bitter.  A lot of pics and a little talk . . .

First real ski trip to Park City . . . 

The happy and brave couple . . . keeping it real on the greens.

You're my blue sky, you're my sunny day . . . 

The snow.  O. M. G. the stuuuuupid snow.

Ice skating like it was her J. O. B.

Learning to ski.  Loooooved watching this one be so brave.

Ski buddies.

Thumbs up after a fall.  No biggie.

Serious crash at the bottom of a run.  I yelled for her to make pizza with her skis, and she yelled back, "Noooo pizza!  I like french fries because I can go faster!!!"

And she didn't even care that she completely splattered into the snow bank.  Never laughed so hard in her life.

I might frame this pretty face.

What every toy in our house that hits the floor now looks like . . .  

Trying to teach her some manners.  "No chewing on toys, Rubster, or you won't get a sticker on your chart."

Little black puppy loves the snow as much as the kiddos.

My badass play group, er, moms who like to go out for drinks group.  I just had to take a pic of the beautiful kids who brought us all together.  Love, love, love these people.  And I know the pics in the back are so not centered.  Don't ask . . . 

Sweet boy no longer uses his pacifier.  And it makes me sad.  

Lost her first tooth!  Has since lost another . . . 

"Mommy, I fly to the moon!"  Just come back before dinner . . .   

Mimi loves a selfie.

Future snow boarder hunk.

"See, Mommy, it's magic."

My three faves.  

Wait, let's make that my four faves.  This dog completes the family.  

Such an old soul -- obedient and loving and super smart.

This family is officially moving on to spring.  Warmer weather, leaves on trees, pollen annoying our sinuses, and long bike rides.  More of that soon (I hope).