Tuesday, November 1, 2011

What Are You Going to Do about It?

I'm going to warn you in advance. There is going to be a lot that I am going to say that will make you want to stick your fingers in your ears and scream LA LA LA LA LA at any time. I am NOT going to tell you how to vote. I am NOT going to tell you how I would vote or point you to an unbiased website (because honestly there isn't one that exists. Trust me -- I've searched). And I'm not going to point out my opinion on all the "what ifs" of abortion, morning-after pill, IVF, IUD's, and possible lawsuits. Not even going there. But I am going to challenge you . . . just keep reading and you'll see what I mean.

In case you've been living under a rock or you don't care to keep up with the news of my home state of Mississippi (really? You don't?), this is what is being voted on soon:
INITIATIVE MEASURE NO. 26
SUBJECT MATTER: Definition of “person"
BALLOT TITLE: Should the term “person” be defined to include every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning, or the equivalent thereof?
BALLOT SUMMARY: Initiative #26 would amend the Mississippi Constitution to define the word “person” or “persons”, as those terms are used in Article III of the state constitution, to include every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning, or the functional equivalent thereof.
Sigh. And the madness this question has started. What is a "person"?
Honestly, I don't care how you vote. Just do your research and listen to your heart. I no longer live there, so I'm sure you don't care to hear about how I would vote so I'll spare you. BUT I do still have something to say on the matter, and it is this . . .
STOP BEING SUCH ASSHOLES.
Whew.
There, I said it. Now I feel much better.
Part of my problem is me. I don't have a lot of free time to lie on the couch and space out, so my only time to remove myself from this world is to browse Facebook. Please, don't judge. I normally do it to see photos of my friends' adorable babies and puppies, but lately more and more people have been posting their opinions about this proposed amendment. It starts out very simple . . . "Hey, check out this link if you're still unsure about how to vote" . . . and then I read that the link says something like "The Lies of PRO-ABORTION Advocates" or "Why Mississippi is about to Make a HUGE Mistake," so I feel I MUST see the 104 comments that people have posted under this status . . . and then I stupidly get all hot and bothered by the mean, mean, mean and hateful comments people have made.
They usually go something like this:
"I can't believe people are afraid that if this passes a doctor can't help them if they have a tubal pregnancy. That's so SILLY AND RIDICULOUS."
"If you vote "yes," you obviously CAN'T THINK FOR YOURSELF and haven't done ANY research."
"It's never a woman's choice -- it's God's choice and the CHRISTIAN THING TO DO is vote 'yes'."
And the list goes on and on and on, so I won't bore you. Whether this thing passes or not there will still be HUGE problems to deal with. So this is where I need to open my big, fat mouth and challenge all of you big talkers who have been so finger-pointy and judgemental . . . what are you going to do about it?
If it doesn't pass, then things will stay the same. There will still be teen pregnancies and unwanted pregnancies and rape and incest and abortions.
If it does pass, things will stay, well, almost the same. There will still be teen pregnancies and unwanted pregnancies and rape and incest and abortions that are performed in surrounding states.
Let's be honest, changing a law will not change a person's heart. Changing the law will not make a selfish, career-oriented woman want to stop her "accidental" pregnancy. It will not make a 16-year-old who's scared out of her mind suddenly be excited about going shopping at Motherhood Maternity. It can't make the single mom of 4 whose boyfriend abuses her not want to bring another child into her situation. It will not make the confusion of a mentally challenged fourteen-year-old who was raped by her uncle go away.
Those who have the resources and money will just go to another state. Those who don't will have to deal with it, but more than likely those are the ones who are already dealing with it anyway.
You see, while you're sitting in your church pew feeling all holy and godly since you decided to cast a "yes," or feeling all intellectual debating at your water cooler about voting "no" these problems will still be going on around you. So, what are you going to do?
First of all, let's stop with all the judging. When I was in high school and when I taught high school, there were always SEVERAL pregnant girls. Some poor, some rich, some popular, and some with bad reputations. And these young girls marched in that school every day knowing that they would be stared at and talked about. But we all knew that at least half of the other students had done just exactly what these girls had, but still lots and lots of gossip and judging ensued. There were also "rumors" of girls who had abortions, and whether they had or had not there was still lots gossip and whispers of "baby killer" -- some behind their backs and some to their faces. Many more were ready to judge and gossip than to offer them kind words or a hug. If you know you're going to be judged, are you willing to open up and talk about your feelings? Uh, no. And neither are these girls and women who are struggling with a life-changing decision.
Instead of just being concerned about removing a morning-after pill or abortion, find a way to get involved with a place that offers guidance and counseling. Many towns and counties have women's resource centers already, and even if you can't volunteer I'm sure they always need money. If there isn't one in your area, find a way to get one started. Go to the mayor. Go to your local schools and churches. Figure out where the need is and if other women are willing to help. Make it SAFE and CONFIDENTIAL and OPEN-MINDED. Right now I'm sure Planned Parenthood and the abortion clinics offer better counseling than some of these meanies who are being all finger-pointy at "baby killers."
Here's a link to an organization called Ramah International, which lists many of the women's resource centers in Mississippi that offer pregnancy tests, pregnancy counseling, adoption options, post-abortion counseling, and other resources. http://www.ramahinternational.org/mississippi.html
Talk to kids about sex. They may stick their fingers in their ears and say LA LA LA LA LA (and then you may do the same) but actually start the conversation in an appropriate manner just as soon as you think they're mature enough (okay, this is going to be a huge challenge for me!). Don't just say that it's bad and God says you're not supposed to do it until you get married, but actually be open-minded and encourage them to join in the conversation. This was totally lacking when I lived in Mississippi. Parents and teachers were so scared to say anything but that it was bad and wrong and God said no, but the parents who were actually open had children who were smarter and made better decisions.
No matter how you look at this, the proposed amendment and the problems surrounding it are in no way simple or clear-cut. There will always be those extremists who will never vote against a woman's choice and those who will always vote against abortion even if the amendment forces teenagers to wear chastity belts. Save your breath -- those folks aren't budging.
Do I believe that those who are pouring their hearts and souls into passing this amendment and saving unborn babies are doing the right thing? I do.
Do I believe that people should be concerned about the lack of details concerning certain situations such as health risks and exceptions for mentally challenged? Sure do.
Sorry I can give no insight on how you should vote -- just call me if you really care to know, which I'm sure you don't. In the meantime, I'll try to stop reading all the garbage on FB and will figure out what I can do to help.
And I promise photos of Halloween costumes and a pumpkin patch next time and no more of this crap . . .