Spring Sprang Sprung

Whew, it's been a while, so I'll cut right to the chase.  Update time.  No photo editing and no spell check.

Spring 2013.  Or as we call it in Chicago, the second half of Winter 2013.  It's cold and windy and snowy in April.  But the warm 2 weeks of spring will arrive some time at the end of May, and then Chicago will once again be my favorite city in the whole wide world.  Until then drivers and bikers and everybody else who is in a hurry will continue to be grumpy and can just blame it on the weather.  And then they can just be grumpy for no good reason.

St. Patrick's Day consisted of 8 adults, 5 toddlers, and hundreds of drunk 20-somethings crowded into Riverview Tavern with BLARING Irish music.  Just how we like it.

Play dates -- how we survive in the city in the winter.  It's the only way we don't get completely depressed and lonely.  Ring around the rosies . . .

Mimi's preschool teachers are absolutely amazing and take the kids on at least one or two field trips a month.  Get those kids out and get moms to help.  Brilliant.  Macky even came along on one.

I don't need no stinking smock . . . lemme just dive in the water!

Silly rabbit.  Mimi couldn't get enough snuggles.  

Before we left the city for a long (excrutiating) drive south, we hit up the neighborhood park egg hunt.  Mimi found one egg and then it began snowing.

And snowing.  And snowing.  We were the idiots who didn't check the weather and were caught in a blizzard a couple of hours south of the city.  Cars were sliding off the road and stuck in ditches every quarter of a mile, so the Darbys pulled into a hotel as soon as we saw one.  Being stuck in a hotel with two toddlers (one who developed serious diarrhea) wasn't actually the worse thing in the world.  We could have been stuck in a ditch . . . with a toddler with serious diarrhea.  So we're not complaining.

Once we arrived in the Tennessee, the weather was warmer and my children were happier.  They had space to move and cousins to play with, so the long trip was worth it.

Mississippi also treated us well as the days were even warmer.

And they had a Poppaw there to ride them around . . . and around and around and around.

A little golfing . . . 

 . . . and a little Lake Nixon.

Just what we needed to unwind.  I am crazy about my little hometown.  Some smart (and really cool) folks have been working hard to make it an even better place to live.  Over the past few years, great little boutiques and restaurants have been springing up around town.  Liquor was finally voted in (yes, my hometown was semi-dry.  Only beer could be sold), and now several other wonderful restaurants will hopefully be opening.  Many houses are being renovated downtown, and it feels so warm and inviting to be back home.

I spent one afternoon browsing the shops and taking photos of a few of my favorite homes.

My beautiful church.

The youth building at my church where I basically lived in high school.

 And my first bottle of wine to buy in my hometown.

We always try to have a meal at a sweet friend's Italian restaurant, which is soooo yummy.

Clint and I were able to sneak away for a night in our amazing college town, Oxford, Mississippi.  Oxford is hands down the epicenter of Southern culture.  I would visit this town over most others in the South -- incredible restaurants (so many featured on travel and food magazines and TV shows) and boutiques, great music and amazing literature comes out of this tiny town located in the middle of north Mississippi.  It's my favorite small town in America.

And it's amazing to have a drink on one these balconies on a sunny afternoon.  

Old roomies (at different times)

How does just one more drink at the Library turn into several?

And back to my hometown for a Sunday morning Easter service at my beautiful Baptist church.  Oh, how I love an old hymn.

My, don't we clean up real nice?

An after church puddle stomp was in order.

And another Spider Man 4-wheeler ride before going home.

Loved our trip home and made me want my own house with big ole yard . . . more to come on that subject in another post.

Clint's beautiful sister made a trip to the Windy City the next weekend.  Sorry my photos turned out so dark.

 I'm still trying to be a decent mom, and I'm loving the stage we're in right now.  I'm completely worn out and a grumpy thing around 7:00 every night, but most of the time.  We have lots of fun.  Instead of waiting until I can get away during nap time by myself on the weekends to run errands, I love that Mimi is fun to take with me now.  Just this morning she went to an optometry appointment AND the Apple store.  I didn't have to chase her or worry that she was going to break everything in sight.

I actually took her clothes shopping with me one day, and it wasn't a complete disaster at all.  Four and a half is a pretty cool age.

Macky-poo is still the cutest little guy I've ever met.  The bazillion hours of therapies we're getting a week along with our complete changes in the way we treat him are working wonders.  He is actually talking a bit more and isn't throwing uncontrollable tantrums.  His new favorite word is "no."  I kind of wish we could move onto another new favorite word . . .

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned how flexible he is.  Check out how he sleeps.

The little monkey had begun climbing out of his crib several weeks ago, and I basically thought my life was sort of over.  I had been sewing early in the morning and during his nap time, which were suddenly non-existent once the climbing out began.

This photo was taken veeerrrryyyy early one morning when he decided 3:30AM was an appropriate time to wake.

But about a week ago (after an exhausting trip to Ikea to get a toddler bed), he decided he loved his crib once again.  All of my sewing orders have resumed (although I am waaaay behind and overwhelmed now), and the little guy is happy.

My awesome friend Amber visited a couple of weeks ago.  She and I worked together and I think I spent more time talking with her at that time than my own husband, and I have missed her so very much.  Great to catch up and be a tourist with her.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day 2013 was a highlight of Mimi's Spring.  She packed her backpack with a notepad, an Ariel phone, some snacks, and a stuffed animal and told Daddy she was ready to work hard all day long with him (well, only a couple of hours).

Not every 4-year-old girl can say she worked in the tallest building in the city for two hours of her life.

As the weather has finally warmed above freezing, fun park days have arrived!

 Just holding hands with one of my dudes.

A rainy walk with Iz.

Green grass . . . ahhhhhhh

The seventies are returning to the forecast just in time for my birthday week (and a quick last-minute girl's trip to the beach)!  Fun times are a comin' . . .

This Girl

This one didn't come with an instructional manual either.  But it would have been nice.

Mimi's awesome PreK class is celebrating Seuss week, and yesterday was mismatched day.  Mimi took her task quite seriously.

She picked out the headband and "Patrick's Day magic bow tie" (as she named it) while shopping with me yesterday morning.  She wore them as she ran around JoAnn's (ugh, I hate JoAnn's) like a chicken with her head whacked off, and occasionally I could hear, Hey, why is everybody laughing at me???

Really, Mimi?

Mommy, why are they all laughing at me?  I'm just wearing my Suess day clothes.  That's not very nice.

Another PreK mom told me how Mimi was showing everyone her dance moves during circle time, so I told Mimi that I had heard about this.  She suddenly made a mad face and said, But I'm not ever, ever dancing at school again.  Everybody was laughing at me!

I explained they were laughing because she was funny.  Mimi, don't you know that you're a funny kid?

Mommy!  I'm not funny!
Then what are you?

I'M CUTE!!!!

Sheesh.  And she is pretty cute.  Let's just hope the elderly lady we saw who was seriously stooped over thought she was cute, too.  Or let's just hope she was very hard of hearing because Mimi had some very loud and silly opinions about why she was walking like that.  Seriously, instruction manual, please.

Now that Mack is in preschool for 2 whole hours a week (we're bumping up to another morning in a couple of weeks!  4 whole hours -- goooo, Mack!), Mimi and I get some quality time together.  Yes, it's awesome to have her when she doesn't feel the need to compete with her brother.  She told me at least a thousand stories about Olivia the Pig over coffee and chocolate milk at Starbuck's.  Who doesn't love stories about pig?

Thank goodness Mimi isn't the only silly girl I know.  This one comes a close second :)  

And by the way, I am NOT pregnant with a baby.  Just in case you were wondering.  I actually already had it, and if you're confused it's because you weren't paying attention . . . he he he.

Until there are more shenanigans . . .

Growing Up

I noticed this week that my children are no longer babies.

You see this kid?  Super Stinker?  He's finally not sitting in a high chair with a sippy cup.

At one time in my life, I would consider other things success, but this week in my life THIS is a huge success.

And he's so proud of himself.

He was making a crazy mess in his high chair and throwing everything on the floor.  But put him at the counter with a real cup of milk and he's so careful.  He even smiles and claps for himself after almost every sip.

Up until a couple of months ago, I pretty much thought most everything I was doing with my children was wrong.  They weren't doing enough for themselves.  Mimi wasn't interested in learning to write letters and numbers.  Mack wasn't talking much.

But after a revolving door of therapists (Mack is getting speech therapy, occupational therapy, AND developmental therapy), I have learned two things:

ALL CHILDREN ARE DIFFERENT.

ACCEPT CHILDREN FOR WHO THEY ARE.

Whoa.  Heavy stuff.  Of course I should know this.  Duh.  Every person is different.  I should be accepting.  But not with my children.  They will be exactly who I mold them to be.

Yeah, right.  So what I'm learning through all of Mack's therapy is that children are not all nurture.  Of course I should do my part in trying to teach them to be wonderful little people, but there is a whole lot going on in their little bodies that I cannot control.  It's just the way they're wired.

So now I can let myself off the hook.  It's not my fault!  I'm not such a bad mom after all!!  Yay, me!!

Anyway, the reason all this therapy started is because Mack has something called Sensory Processing Disorder.  It's not cancer.  He's not going blind.  We will be okay.  But our little family has some things to work on because Mack is wired a little differently.

This is going to sound crazy, but I was sooooo relieved to hear that D word -- disorder.  I wanted to shout from the rooftops "This is not all my fault!  The tantrums and the not talking and the social issues.  Not all my fault.  Hooray!"  Many moms put too much pressure on themselves and I have been one of those.  I have tried not to, but there were just so many things with Mack I couldn't "fix."  Have you met my family?  My husband, my daughter, and I know how to talk.  Why can't we teach Mack?  I was an English teacher.  Why can't I teach him to talk?  Why does he shy away from social situations?  The rest of us like people.  Why does he destroy every freaking toy in sight?  His father and I don't do that.  I tell him no.  What gives?  Why can't I raise him exactly the same way I raise my daughter and get the same result?

Because I can't.  Because all children are different.  And I need to accept my monkeys just the way they are.

If you know anything about this SPD business, please hunt me down because we need to talk.  I know no one who has a child with this (other than the over-sensitive kind, which he is not), and totally thought it was made up bologna until I took a little test on-line and holy moly I checked every single box for his type.

Does he crash and destroy?  Yes.
Does he grind his teeth and stomp?  Yes.
Does he shy away from eye contact?  Yes.
Does he stuff his mouth when he eats?  Yes.
Does he barely react to hurting himself?  Yes.
Does he have trouble regulating himself?  Hell Yes.

And the list goes on and on and on.  Basically, Mack doesn't process sight, touch, and sound the same way most of us do.  He may hear what I say, but it totally doesn't register if a lot is going on.  He sees so much that he can't focus on one thing.  He doesn't feel comfortable sitting still and must constantly move to feel everything around him.  And if he isn't regulated, then he can't learn to talk or be social.  Therapy is already helping me see exactly what this is and how to help him cope with these symptoms. I've learned that we need to keep his environment as calm and comfortable as possible, and then he will begin communicating.  Remember sitting in Biology when you were hungry, tired, and upset from a recent break-up?  How could you focus to learn when your needs weren't met?  So now I just need to make sure his needs are met.

One thing the therapists told me to chill out about is the pacifier.  Mack's strength is knowing that he is about to freak out, and he tells us this by asking for his paci, trying to leave the room to get away from too many people, or other ways.  In the past I tried to make him deal with whatever was bugging him, but now I've learned to let him have his minute and he can rejoin the group after he has a break.

So the Darby home has been a bit calmer and the little guy has begun talking more.  His favorite phrase is "Dere you go" in a sweet little sing-songy voice.  He finally says "milk" instead of pointing and crying at the refrigerator.  Also, he's paying a bit more attention to others.  He occasionally walks up to random kids (usually really cute girls) and gives them a hug and pats their heads.  He also pushes, but he has a sweet smile on his face as he's doing it.  Somebody needs to explain to the crying victim on the floor (and the parent) that he's just saying hello . . . 

He's still as sweet and snuggly as always, and Clint and I were relieved to hear that it's okay to "baby" this one for a little bit longer.  Being hard on him isn't the best solution like it may be with his sister.  

Yes, he is standing on the counter.  And, yes, he would totally jump if I wasn't standing right there.  I can't take my eyes off this one for a second.  Which is why I am exhausted All. The. Time.

While this does affect the way he communicates, he is still taking in a lot.  Mack is a smart little boy.  He is very visual and can figure out puzzles and memory games quickly.  He likes to clean up and organizes his Goldfish Rainbow crackers by color.  He has many of the Gangnam Style moves memorized.  And so does his daddy.

He's obsessed with electronics and knows how to find anything (and change settings) on our phones and computers.

But most importantly, he is so, so very sweet.  He lets me hold him and sing to him, and he rubs his sisters eyes and hugs her when she cries (even if he caused it).  He likes to laugh and dance and he smells really, really good.

And moving on to this little girl.  She never ceases to surprise me.

Just a few months ago I was so very frightened that she would fail preschool (if that's possible).  She didn't care about learning and just wanted to play.  Kindergarten is serious business these days, and I was very worried my daughter who barely meets the cut-off date would make it with the older kids.  The list of items she needs to know before starting kindergarten was a lot longer than her attention span.  She wouldn't sit for ten seconds to finish coloring a picture.  She didn't want to attempt to do anything for herself.  And she didn't care.

During Christmas she wrote her name.  Then she randomly started asking me if mouse and house rhyme or dog and log.  If she hears a long word like situation, she wants me to clap out the syllables with her.  She asks me who the author of her bedtime story is.  She wants to know if frozen pizza is healthy (and I say of course).  She wants to know why we don't hibernate and how long it takes for a Halloween pumpkin to decompose.  Tonight she sat at Fernando's and colored the entire Mickey Mouse eating a salad page INSIDE the lines and didn't touch her food until she finished.  And there it is.  Her curiosity has gotten the best of her and she's ready to learn.

I have always known Mimi is smart -- but I had begun believing that maybe academically not so much.  I had dinner with a friend recently who told me that she just wasn't ready and that learning would happen suddenly.  And suddenly it has.
  

When I was in first grade, I sat at my big square desk with my gigantic pack of Crayolas (with the built-in sharpener) and worked on my coloring pages like it was my J-O-B.  I pretended to be interviewed for a segment on Sesame Street or the Disney Channel about my amazing coloring abilities.  Wow.  We've never seen a six-year-old able to choose such the perfect shade of Cyan.  But somehow that was pretty much all I did for the first half of the morning in Mrs. Shumaker's class.  I had forgotten about this until recently.  I didn't want to learn to read early.  I still wanted my mom to tie my shoes.  I had no interest in phonics or telling time or adding buttons in a jar.

All children are different.  Accept them for who they are.  And suddenly it has happened for me, too.

I've changed 4 light bulbs . . . and had lots of Starbucks coffee.

We're almost one month into January, and I've been busy, busy, busy changing those light bulbs and flossing my teeth . . . and doing some other things that I'll get to later . . .

Mimi has been doing a lot of this . . . 

and this . . .

and of course this . . .

and FINALLY, finally, finally, finally sat still long enough to write her name.  Geez, this girl could care less about things such as that.

Yesterday I was struggling to get her to sit down and finish her what should be a 10 minute assignment from preschool and something hit me . . . I was a lot like her at this age.  I jumped from toy to toy to coloring page to cartoon to puzzle and could give a crap about learning to write letters or numbers or even think about reading.  Why should I learn to read when I like the way my mommy does it so much?  Yep, she and I aren't too different.

But her "family project" for the month was to dress up a paper doll for cold weather.  Oh, my!!  I was so excited about doing this!  Um, I mean I was so excited about doing this for with Mimi!!  And guess what -- she was so excited about it too!!  

We may not have loved our letters, but we love making clothes.  Whatever, she'll eventually learn to love David Sedaris and 1,000 page Ken Follett books like her mommy.  And get an English degree . . . and do absolutely nothing with it.

Anyway, it's close to Valentine's Day, so I made this dress for her that she wears like every other day.  She's starting to be more opinionated about her attire, and I've gotten a lot of, "Mommy, those pants with the floppy things (ruffles) on the bottom are soooo not cute.  Nobody will like those.  Can I just wear my pajamas?"  So I had to learn to sew a knit dress.  And she loooooves it!  

Knit dress at Starbucks.  Mimi also loves overpriced pastries like her mommy.

Comfy pleather chairs are awesome!

This guy likes Starbucks, too.

After playing in the snow Saturday, Mimi told me we deserved a treat, so she rolled into Starbucks on a sled.  Fun stuff.

Seriously, I have a bit of a problem with this coffee joint, but they are EVERYWHERE and it feels like I'm giving myself a break when we go.  I need to find a cheaper obsession.  Like bubblegum or collecting rocks.

Do you see this pic?  I'm not even kidding.  What do I do about this????

She has no idea that she's supposed to think boys are yucky.  She LOVES them.  Like kisses at least one of them every time I drop her off for school.  It's not in a lovey dovey kind of way but in a, "Oh, you're a boy like my cousin Nick and will let me play with your Lego's and electronics and race car tracks and I associate that with giving you a kiss."  I have tried to explain that she should ask before kissing them, and she looks at me like I have four eyes.  I apologize to the moms and nannies, but they tell me that their boys love her and don't mind.  Whatevs.

I took a photo of this a few days ago, and oh my goodness she looks so old.  By the way, here's the link to the pattern for this top -- oooooh, how I LOVE it!  

When there's no snow on the ground we have to find something to do, and the Nature Museum is one of my faves.  There's a fun butterfly/sauna-type area that makes the whole trip worth it.

See this cute little thing on the left?  Guess what she says . . . y'all and ma'am and adds extra syllables to words! That's right!! Mimi has a southern friend in the city whose momma is from Mississippi!

She may polite, but she's a whole lot of fun, isn't she, Mimi?

This guy loves to color now.  Like sit for at least ten minutes and color.  I'm in shock.

Actually he's done a lot of things that have shocked me lately such as walking in his preschool class by himself with a sneaky, sneaky smile on his face.  Of course we still have to work on his not standing on tables or stealing others' snacks or throwing toys absolutely everywhere, BUT we're making baby steps.  And I'm okay with that.

I could stare at these blue eyes allllllllllll day . . .

His sister taught him to eat snow.

 She's even trying to eat it off of him . . . at least it's not the sidewalk, right?

 Mack also loves to dance.  Get low . . . 

 and lower . . . and lower . . .

 And he's smitten with his daddy.

 He's so bad, bad, bad, but I am still head over heels for him.  And I think he kinda likes me, too.

In other news, I had my first spray tan and IT. WAS. AWESOME.

I highly recommend one for all your important events.  A wedding, a formal party, Sunday brunch, a play date . . . I mean, why not?  If you're fat, who cares?  Tanned fat looks better.  If your teeth need to be whitened, the tan makes them look even whiter.  Need to work out?  I think the good places can even draw in some definition.  I'm not even kidding.  Forget the tanning beds and lather on the SPF 40.  You no longer need the sun.  Just see the girls at Buff Beauty.  And you're welcome.

So after being tanned, plucked, blow dried, manicured, pedicured, and Spanxed, Clint and I hopped a plane to Hotlanta and partied the night away with his amazing co-workers.  I LOVE his company.  If he ever quits, they have to hire me.  I can, hmm, I can maybe spell check all their memos or something . . . oh, wait, Microsoft Word does that?  Well, maybe I can pick up Starbucks for everyone.

 Heh, heh, heh . . . look at that white guy . . .

 I also attended my first ever NHL game, and WE WON!!!  By we I mean Blackhawks, and they beat the Redwings.  And I pretend to be a fan now.

In other news, I am having a baby.  Well, I sort of already had it, but it's very small and still keeping me up late at night and waking me up early in the morning.  I haven't quite been ready to share her yet . . . but, okay, you twisted my arm . . . but just a peek because she's still growing . . .

mimi & mack