Things My Momma Did NOT Teach Me

It's Monday morning, which around the Darby home is "ballet day."

Mimi loves all things ballet, but I always dread these mornings just a bit.  The first few classes she was amazing, but now she would prefer to dance to her own drummer.  I love that about her.  I promise I do . . .

BUT I still feel the need to shake my head and repeat phrases such as, "Oh my word, Mimi.  What the heck are you doing?" as I see her running around the studio like a wild banshee.  She has been known to strip down and lick the mirror and totally cut in line to get her stamp at the end of class.  Very rarely do I hear Miss Taylor get onto another child as much as she does Mimi, but she's very patient and has never asked her to leave the class or anything.

The other moms giggle at her and tell me they're happy to see a child with her spirit, but something in me makes me say things like, "I have no idea where she gets that crazy energy."  And then I feel bad about myself . . .

Pride.  I have such pride in myself as a mom that I need to let the other moms know that I DID NOT teach her to act that way!  I don't like this about myself because I am not at all ashamed of my daughter.  I love her spunk and independence, and I vow today to stop this way of thinking.  So what that she acts a fool in ballet?  At least she's not standing in the corner with a finger up her nose or gripping my leg crying for dear life.  Good for her for being exactly who she is.


Whenever I say things like "can you believe she does that?," Mom always giggles and responds with, "but all four of you did the same thing to me."  It's true.  We were just as nutso as my two monkeys, but she NEVER acted like we didn't belong to her.  She was patient and loving, and I feel that I owe an early Mother's Day gift to her -- an apology.

Mom, I'm very sorry if I ever acted a fool in public.  I know you don't care and that you're giggling at me right now, but I still feel I need to tell everyone that . . . 

THESE ARE THE THINGS I'VE DONE THAT MY MOMMA DID NOT TEACH ME:

To drink too much beer.
To cuss.
To dance on elevated surfaces.
To smoke cigarettes in college.
To lie on the couch and watch reality TV.
To buy designer jeans and Lululemon that is NOT on sale.
To leave the house without full make-up and hairspray.
To be a snob and go a whole day without learning the entire life history of a complete stranger.
To wear pants to church.
To wear ragged jeans.
To stay up past 10PM.
To sleep past 7AM.
To sometimes be a mean girl in middle school.
To write papers for my friends in college.
To procrastinate.
To take my father's side occasionally.
To leave dirty dishes in the sink over night.
To ride in cars with high school friends who drove waaaay too fast.
To not clean out the tub or shower every. single. day.
To not iron absolutely everything I wear.
To not wear lipstick.

Sigh.  She's probably rolling her eyes about now.  I have learned my lesson about some of these things (smoking is really, really gross.  I promise I didn't do it too much.), and I'm sorry I didn't listen the first time. Since I'm stubborn, my mom let me learn some of these things on my own, and I guess I'll have to let Mimi do the same.

I'm proud to say that these are the things my momma DID teach me:

To see the cup as half full.
To always trust my gut over a book with my newborns.
To not be disappointed but to giggle when my toddlers act like toddlers.
To take care of my husband.
To let my husband also take care of me.
To cook meals AND dessert for my family.
To be silly.
To help my neighbors.
To teach my children by example.
To have live plants in the house.
To go to the doctor when I'm sick.
To not worry that my children might get their clothes dirty.
To be creative.
To not argue about politics or religion.
To not be afraid to strike up conversations with complete strangers.
To not give up the chance to hold a newborn.
To wake up early to have time for myself.
To not be afraid to ask for help.
To stay active.
To laugh at myself.
To hug often.
To eat when I'm hungry and sleep when I'm tired.
To be interested in others' conversations.
To love unconditionally.

Most importantly, she taught me that I want my daughter to have a list almost exactly like this when she's 32-years-old.

Well, except for the smoking.  Mimi, please never smoke.  Gross.