The Darbys: She's Crafty

You know who I'm talking about and not in the Beastie Boys kind of way. That Martha Stewart kind of woman. The one who can make a gorgeous dining table display with a couple of toilet paper rolls, tin foil, and a glue gun. She brings the most beautifully gift-wrapped presents to birthday parties and showers, and the gift inside is probably hand-made. She lives on Pinterest and then posts all the wonderful door hangers and wall art and children's crafts that her family happily made with items just lying around the house. And she makes me want to gag.

Okay, maybe I'm a little jealous because I totally think I should be like this. I have a minor in art (well, kinda. I'm missing one foreign language credit, but I don't think that matters), and I love to draw and sew and do a few other things that require me to use the right side of my brain. But I am in NO WAY crafty. I do not own a glue gun. I can't look at the plastic fruit containers and cardboard beer boxes and egg crates in my recycling bin and envision an afternoon craft project with the toddlers. I can't make bows for my daughter's hair. I've never fashioned a quilt out of old sorority t-shirts.

If a teacher was to grade me on my ability as a SAHM, I would get a big, fat F in the art category. I would get a big, fat F in several other categories (which I'm sure I'll discuss at a later date), but art class has been nonexistent at the Darby house. We sing and dance and play blocks and read books, but I rarely come up with more than a coloring book and crayons for my monkeys.

I honestly didn't see this as a problem until recently. I mean, I have messy toddlers who eat glue and paint, and I have always felt that art should begin maybe at preschool or around the age of whenever they stop putting glitter in their eyes or glue sticks up their noses. But I need to change this because I LOVE art. I once dreamed of being a starving artist wearing second-hand clothes and hanging out at really cool parks sketching. Okay, so this was for about a second during my freshman year of college, and then I realized that I wasn't that very good and I absolutely despise second-hand clothes. They never fit right after someone else has worn them.

And at this week's mom's group one of the girls thought it would be fun for the older kids to finger paint and make cute little designs out of their handprints and for the little ones to squish two different paint colors together in a gallon plastic bag. Wow. How did she think of something so clever??

I'm not being a smarty pants. I really don't know how she thought of putting the two different colors in a baggie and letting them mix and squish together to make a completely different color, and (this is my favorite part) there was no mess. Why can't I come up with something so simple on my own? And her little girl is absolutely the tiniest little thing. I'm not even sure she is old enough to eat a crayon.

I complimented her on the fun baggy idea, and then she excitedly began spitting out other ideas like finger-painting with pudding and then my head started spinning out of control when Pinterest was mentioned. I DESPISE Pinterest because it is a reminder of how un-crafty I am and how crafty everyone else is. (On a side note, have you seen the $*#T SAHM Moms Say video on You Tube? Because you should.). She was just full of crafty ideas, and it made me feel, well, a little embarrassed that I had absolutely nothing to bring to the table. If you know me, you know I HATE not being a bit of a know-it-all. Not one idea with felt or macaroni or pipe cleaners or anything came to mind.

I thought about it all afternoon. Why can't I be crafty?? And then Mimi, who seems to read my mind on occasion, announced that today was Valentine's Day and the next day would be Frog Day. "What? What's Frog Day?" I asked.

"I don't know. But tomorrow is Frog Day and the next day is Princess Day." And then she tackled her brother and stole his blocks.

Hmmm . . . a theme day for every day. I could make that really fun. We could talk about the life stages from an egg to a frog and the different types of frogs, teach Mack how to say "ribbit" and play leap frog with Mimi, and then make some sort of craftiness with frogs. Wow. Mimi is so brilliant.

But the next day I forgot about this and we did nothing pertaining to amphibians, and then she reminded me that the next day would be Princess Day. Oh, joy! Princess Day! I pulled out her Snow White and her new Cinderella and let her watch some Barbie Princess nonsense while getting ready for preschool, and then I had plans of making princess crowns and discussing British royalty with her during Mack's nap time.

So this is how I might start being crafty. A theme for each day. I can let her come up with the ideas and that way I don't have to think too hard. Also, it will be easier for me to Google or search on Pinterest (eeks) or whatever for some sort of project. I know that this will probably force me to spend a bit more time at Joann's than I would like for some crafty items (I despise Joann's. I've always felt like people think I crochet tissue box covers or bedazzle my jeans if they see me going in there). But having a theme is a start, and I think it's a good one.

But back to the Princess Day for just a moment. When I took Mimi into her classroom that morning, I saw a very disappointed look on her little face. It was indeed "Princess Day" (and "Super Hero Day") in her class so all the girls wore pink and purple princess dresses and the boys wore capes. Oops. I guess I should have read the last e-mail from Miss Kelley a little more closely.

Anyway, Mimi decided that today is "Hat Day." She and Mack dressed up in cowboy hats for all of ten seconds.

Then they helped, well, kinda helped make their own hats. And then I chased them around the den trying to make them realize how awesome it would be for them to sweetly stand next to each other while wearing their fun hats so Mommy could document this moment on film. They screamed and hid from me, and then my battery went dead.

So here they are. Proof that even I can be the crafty mom.