To Nap or Not to Nap . . .

. . . that is the question.

It is 9:00 at night, and for the first time in about 6 months both of my children are asleep . . . but this has come at a cost: almost losing my sanity.

Mack has absolutely no problem falling asleep. I need to run some errands in the middle of the day, and he'll take a short morning nap and an afternoon one. We have things to do in the morning, so he has no issue waiting until after lunch and taking a long afternoon nap. Around 6:30-7:00 at night he gets a little fussy and will even point up the stairs, which means, "Take me to my crib, please." All I need to do is give him a little milk, turn out the light, and put him in his crib.

At this age Mimi wasn't much different. She easily transitioned to one nap and even slept on a mat when she changed day cares at 12 months old. Around 18 months it took a little longer to get her down for a nap on the weekends, but she still quickly fell asleep at night. Around 2-years-old it took a little longer to get her settled for a nap, but still it was nothing to complain about. BUT since she was 2 1/2 and moved to a big bed, I have been very close to losing my mind. She began rebelling at both naptime and bedtime, and I tried every trick I knew. The "Supernanny take them back to bed and not say anything" routine. On the show this one solves the problem in a couple of nights. We tried it for a couple of months, and we were taking her back to bed until 11:30 some nights. We tried to take away a toy each time she got up (she sleeps with about 20 of her favorite stuffed animals), and we tried to reward her with one when she stayed in bed. We've been turning off the lights and television and giving her milk and a boring story. We've discussed how we need our rest because we have a "big day" planned for the following morning. I've shortened her naps to just an hour in the afternoon, but she wakes up extremely fussy and still won't go to bed any earlier at night. It's been suggested to just lock the door and let her cry it out, but they are French doors with no lock. Baby gates wouldn't work either because of the way the doors open out into the den. Sigh . . .

I talked with a pediatrician about this issue, and she suggested all of the above. When I told her how all of those methods have failed -- my kid's too damn smart and we're too damn stupid -- she said, "Why don't you just lie down with her until she falls asleep. She will eventually grow out of this, and that's some really sweet time you'll never have again." She was right, and so that is what we have been doing. It has definitely kept her in the bed . . . but it has also kept us in her bed. I'm usually so exhausted that I probably fall asleep before she does and then stumble up to bed around 2:00 AM. Clint does the same but usually stays there all night because he's such a heavy sleeper.

If you're paying attention you'll notice that this leaves absolutely no time for Clint and me to hang out. As soon as he gets home from work and changes into casual clothes, it's normally time to put Mack to bed, eat dinner, and then clean the kitchen. We might spend a little bit of time discussing bills, his job, my day with the kids, or talking with family on Skype, and then it is time to begin the bedtime ritual with Mimi. The only way Clint and I ever have a real conversation is when we get a sitter, and that ain't cheap. I would absolutely love to have a night to sit on the couch and watch and episode of Friday Night Lights with him and no children climbing on me, but that hasn't been possible. I also talk with other moms who have side hobbies, and I ask when in the world they have time. They all respond, "During naptime and after they go to bed." Naptime is the only time I have to clean the house and take care of other business, so I am so ready to have that "after bedtime" time that everyone seems to love. I know people who have all their children in bed by 8:00, which gives them a solid 2 1/2 hours to do whatever it is they want to do. For the record, I hate you.

Something had to give, so today I conducted an experiment. There would be no nap for Mimi. We had to run errands this morning, so I put Mack down for his one long nap after lunch. Normally Mimi plays in the den while I eat and clean up their lunch and then together (at least I try to get her to help) we clean up the den before her nap. Today I let her continue playing quietly while I unloaded the dishwasher and began working on laundry. I thought maybe this was going to be a great idea because she can entertain herself pretty well. Around the time we normally go to her room for a nap, I brought a couple of books to the den and decided this would begin her new "quiet time." She was nice and calm during the books, and then something happened. I think it was her second wind because she suddenly had a surge of energy and began squealing and jumping around the room. I returned a couple of phone calls (I usually don't talk on the phone during this time because I'm afraid I'll wake up Mimi) and she yelled and screamed and whined the entire time I was trying to have a conversation. I took her to her room and pulled out some of her favorite toys and explained that she would have "quiet time" in her room instead of a nap today. She didn't like this idea and wanted me to stay with her and play. I told her Mommy really needed a few minutes by herself to regroup and fold laundry, but that was out of the question for her. She ran to the den and threw all the clothes in the air and acted like a crazy hyena, and I swear I thought I was going to jump out of the window. I put the laundry away and moved her to her room again, and this worked for just a little while. Not long after this Mack woke up, and I was so happy because that meant I could get my crazy self out of this house.

We went on a walk and to the park, and, my gosh, I should have never taken that child out in public. She was okay for a little while, but she kept taking buckets of water from the splash pad and dumping it in the dirt to make mud, and she ran away from me screaming when I tried to wash the mud off her legs. She pestered the ice cream man and cried for both me and him to give her some Bugs Bunny popsicles. And I can't even bear to write about the show she put on when I tried to get her in the stroller. Let's just say my back will be hurting for a long, long time. When we got home and I began running the bathwater, she ran away from both Clint and me and fussed and whined, and Clint's first question was, "Has she had a nap today?"

But at 8:15 when I told her we needed to get ready for bed, Mimi responded with, "Okay, Mommy," and there was no drama. No kicking or screaming or running away or flailing of her arms and legs. We brushed her teeth, used the potty, read a book, and turned out the lights. I still stayed in her room until she was asleep, but this whole process was over by 8:45.

I guess now I need to pick my poison. To make her nap or to not make her nap . . . how do I know when it's time to drop the nap? Will the crazy 5:00-7:00 drama continue if she doesn't nap, or will she get adjusted? For the last few months I (and sometimes Clint) have spent almost 2 to 3 hours of each day trying to get her to fall asleep at naptime and bedtime, and I have to find a way to put an end to this.

Today one of my friends I was attempting to have a conversation with on the phone through all the fussing and whining told me that a pediatrician recommended giving her sleepless child melatonin, which is a naturally-occurring hormone that helps regulate sleep cycles. Anyone know anything about this or used it with your children?

Since I have just a little time before I crash, I think I need to pull up Netflix and catch up on the Dillon Panthers . . .