Travel Notes

Once a month I must reach out to my GI offices in Kentucky, which requires an overnight stay in Paducah. Since I've been doing this for almost five years -- and have been complaining like a brat for almost five years -- I decided today will be the day to lose the bad attitude and take my own advice. I choose to work and send my child to preschool, so I better make the most of every single second. The reason I say "take my own advice" is that I have heard more than normal complaining lately, and I have chosen to not let it get me down. Instead I have been trying my best to build up other coworkers, my spouse, and my friends and talk them into letting go of the negativity . . . but I digress.

As I tried to book my regular room in Paducah, I discovered the hotel was booked solid . . . along with every other hotel in the area. I called and found out this is the week of the famous Quilting Show (I'm sure you've all been looking forward to it), and the entire city of Paducah is engulfed in grannies in appliqued cat sweaters. So I decided Murray might be a good alternative. I've never stayed there, and it appears to be a neat little college town. No worries.

After a very long day of zig-zagging across west Tennessee and listening to country music and annoying discussions about 4/20 and legalizing weed (I mean, who even has time to smoke weed? It seems like such a hassle), I finally arrived in Murray at the Holiday Inn. I had booked my normal room -- 2 queen beds. The two beds are extremely important; one bed to sleep on and the other to eat on. I used to eat at a good Italian restaurant in Paducah, but I always felt like they pitied me because I was eating by myself. I have zero problem eating by myself because I usually surf the web, but I don't want to make others uncomfortable. So now my routine consists of ordering take-out, putting on pjs and my hair in a ponytail on top of my head, and watching too much TV. I plan my trips on Tuesdays so I can watch American Idol and Lost, and in Kentucky Oprah is shown at 9:00 PM. Oh, goody!

So I organized my things in the room (step 1), finished up my work (step 2), and then proceeded to open the curtains to let in the sunshine (step 3) . . . only to find a trailer park. And we're not talking the clean senior citizen kind like one might find in California. Oh no. We're talking My Name is Earl with random auto parts, children's broken toys, aluminum foil in the windows, and waaaay too close for my comfort. Close curtains (my new step 4).

The guy downstairs suggested I order sushi from a local Japanese restaurant, and my sister actually recommended the same place today. Decision made. I discovered this restaurant was in the same strip mall as a Check into Cash AND a Big Lots, but I didn't let that scare me. A man in the elevator in the hotel was smiling when he saw my bag of sushi, and he asked, "Gourmet meal?" I told him my only other option was Captain D's, and he agreed I made the best decision.

As soon as I had on the pjs and hair Pebbles-style, I searched the TV for Lost. I passed the stars dancing, the crying fat people show, and even the Catholic channel with a nun reciting scripture, but no Lost. Then I realized it was 7:00 and Lost doesn't come on until 8:00 -- whew. So I tuned to American Idol and muted about half of it. Tim, it's time to go. Little skinny guy, that flying song is soo high school talent show. Ponytail cowboy, I would never buy your cd. I LOVE that Lee sang Simon and Garfunkel, but seriously, can we just cut the crap and give Crystal the Ford Focus?

I love that when I opened my bag o' sushi I discovered the waitress put in enough soy sauce and chopsticks for 3 people. I guess she assumed there's no reason for a person my size to order that much food, but maybe she failed to see the bump emerging from my shirt. As I bit into a roll the size of my head (deep-fried, no doubt), I realized something was terribly wrong. Thorough inspection led me to discover the chef had substituted jalepeno for avocado. Since this is Kentucky, I guess he thought I wouldn't know the difference. But I have news for him . . . I'm from Mississippi:)

Now that I have killed a good amount of time, I will shut up and watch Lost. I'm really sorry that there are no photos of Mimi in something pink, but maybe I'll get to it during Oprah. As for now, I'm going to take advantage of the cushy bed that I do not have to make up in the morning and the pillows actually labeled "soft" and "firm." I'm going to enjoy not cleaning up after myself and not feeling the need to unload the dishwasher or pick up Disney Princess teacups or half-eaten crayons. I'm going to sleep a little later than normal and not rush to get my shower and clothes ironed before a little fuzzy-headed blonde yells, "Mommy, up!" Will I miss Miss Fuzzy Head? You better believe it, but I'm going to let Clint enjoy his special time with her and let me enjoy the view of the trailer park.